Recently overheard in a fleet maintenance shop.

Trucker to mechanic: So, my retarder is supposed to be just an on or off thing, right? Not variable?

Mechanic: Uh, ye-

Trucker: ’cause it seems that the harder I push, the more retarding I get.

Mechanic: The more I listen to you truck drivers, the more retarded I get!

We’re not building a piano here!

On Friday I was helping install a gate opener when the fellow setting wedge anchors started cussing. He’d marred the head of the anchor to the point that he couldn’t get the nut off in order to set the opener’s frame on top.

When he asked for the grinder to remove the damaged top of the anchor, I said he should pull up the anchor and re-set a new one; which earned me a funny look. The anchor was set, holding, and he just wanted to cut 1/2″ off the top of an anchor.

What occurred to me at that moment was that I wasn’t thinking: With one past employer where my work was inspected, there was a policy in place to not cut anchors so that it was fast, certain, and easy to determine at a glance how deep they were set.

I suppose when one gets tired beyond a certain point, it takes more effort to think critically and one tends to fall back on their first lessons.

The anchor was holding so what matters?

Incredulous feleings.

I watched The Littlest Hobo while I ate breakfast and started reminiscing about TV shows I watched as a boy.

It’s amazing what sort of far-fetched concepts I’ll gladly accept as a viewer but what bothers me are natural phenomenons that are contrary to what I’ve experienced myself. As a Canadian, have you ever watched a film where people are outdoors in the summer time and wondered why there are no insects to be seen?

The most persistent memory of this involved watching Flipper. I loved the show but couldn’t quite wrap my head around the idea of riding shirtless in an open boat and swimming in an ocean you could reach the bottom of by holding your breath; it was fantastic. Florida is nothing like the cold fjords of my childhood.

While I’m at it: There’s a commercial running right now, for Allbran I believe Metamucil, that shows a young woman riding a stationary bike while she pitches the product. My question is if you’re making a commercial for a health product, would you cast an actor with a lazy eye and a tremor in their right hand to be the picture of good health? I think the choice is better than casting someone as paunchy as me by just a slim margin.

Janet, I’M NOT A CRANK!