Archive for August, 2010

I can be a stinker.

August 31, 2010 Leave a comment

I just saw a parody of the movie 300 on Robot Chicken; the most crass TV show I’ve ever seen.

It sent me on a stroll down amnesia lane:

When it came out I had a co-worker who loved it and wouldn’t shut up about it. He mentioned watching it with his friends and when he asked me if I had seen it, I said that I didn’t generally watch “gladiator movies” with my friends. He said that it wasn’t actually about gladiators…and didn’t get what I was saying….

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But I left a message on your machine.

August 21, 2010 Leave a comment

An old welder friend of mine and my wife, before I knew her, had one funny thing in common: Not having an answering machine or voice mail exposed the lies of others. Apparently when you’re in trouble because somebody couldn’t get a hold of you and they mention they left a message on your machine, the realization that you’ve caught them is incredibly satisfying.

I was raised with Judge Judy’s philosophy that life is simpler when you always tell the truth because you don’t need to remember your lies….or was it George Costanza’s belief that it isn’t really a lie if you delude yourself into believing it….yeah, it was definitely Judge Judy’s philosophy…..

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Be sure and wash your hands!

August 18, 2010 Leave a comment

I was at a luncheon party today that had nearly 40 people in attendance. The party had gone on for a while before I needed to use the toilet and when I went to wash my hands afterward it took a good 20 seconds before the hot water arrived. This gave me food for thought as I watched fellow guests digging through the bowls of nuts that were set out on the balcony.

I’m a big believer in proper hand-washing; I even use carbolic soap sometimes. I found myself wondering: Didn’t we all receive the same indoctrination as children about good hygiene?

I’m not a 150-washes-per-day kind of fellow by any stretch of the imagination; in fact I’m quite filthy most days because of my work and am comfortable with that necessity(I think my wife believes I’m too comfortable…). I think that is a big part of why I appreciate having clean hands at home; the hot water also feels nice.

It just made me wonder….and yes, I still ate more nuts.

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A thought while sitting in the tub.

August 18, 2010 Leave a comment

As a whole, we don’t seem to learn from our mistakes; I occasionally see proof in the form of a courtesy car from an auto-body shop being driven aggressively.

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Répondez s’il vous plaît…..Ou est-il trop dur?

August 8, 2010 1 comment

It’s a rant. RSVP…What do you suppose that means?

My wife is the primary family event manager; from casual to formal. There have been a few catered family events this year and the invitations included instructions to RSVP. Knowing who and how many people are coming is vital to several aspects of the planning. The main thing to consider is that each place setting costs money and in order to have the right amount of food and refreshments without being wasteful or overspending it’s important to know who is coming. It’s amazing how often people will show up after not confirming their attendance or try to bring along people who aren’t invited.

My wife accepts the fact the there are always some people that are thoughtless who will never follow the most basic and reasonable instructions but it’s beyond me why such people continue to have a social life and get invited to parties. My outrage is also tied to the trickle-down effect: The offenders don’t hear about their discourteous behavior, but I sure do! So far my suggestion of having a man at the front door has been ignored. Learning is a lifelong thing, so I’m told, and I think that nothing would teach somebody to reply to an invitation so well as a man at the front door telling them that they can’t come in because their name isn’t on the list.

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A thought while sitting in the tub.

August 4, 2010 Leave a comment

I was thinking that a hunter-gatherer and an urbanite who dines exclusively in restaurants basically go about eating in the same way: When they’re hungry, they step outside and get something to eat.

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