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How’s the fishing?

While up in Port Hardy last week I was stopped by the police for a licence check while out driving with my wife. When police stop me for something I always want to ask them how the fishing is but never do. It seems to me that policemen don’t like smart-asses or street lawyers and that kind of remark could get you labelled as being either.

The officer was sniffing rather loudly while I fished out my licence and at first thought he had a cold but later realized he was smelling for alcohol. When he asked me to get out of the car I was concerned what was going on but relaxed when I realized he only wanted to know if I’d been drinking. When I stated that I had nothing to drink that evening he said that he was going to administer a roadside test and asked with a doubtful tone, “so it will read zero, right?”

“Sure,” I said as he headed back to his car. I went up to the front of our car to talk to my wife while the officer got organized. She was surprised that I was being tested and amused by my curiosity and enthusiasm but for me it was a first. It did have me wondering what on earth he smelled that made him suspicious; we decided afterwards that it was the penetrating oil I had been spraying earlier.

When doing the test I felt like they were more interested in my lung capacity than my blood alcohol. The officer told me to blow and blow and I was almost out of air as he said to stop; I wouldn’t have had enough wind if I were a smoker. He looked surprised when I showed as being sober

After being sent on our way we made jokes about sniffling policemen, my personal hygiene being questionable, and the government using breathalyser machines to secretly collect citizens’ DNA but on the short drive back to the hotel we saw three cars pulled over on separate occasions….so I guess they really were fishing.

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