Archive for April, 2012

People do stupid things when they don’t know what you’ll do.

April 28, 2012 Leave a comment

This is one lesson in Machiavelli’s The Prince.  It was funny that I was reading that book while travelling and that thought came to mind while catching a boat from Kingston upon Hull:

I was checking in and when I was asked if I had any weapons on me I said that I wasn’t sure if my Buck folding knife counted and plunked it on the counter for the clerk to see.  My knife had gotten me in trouble before and I wanted to play it safe; even though I only ever used it to attack cheese, sausages and the occasional pencil.

I didn’t see him come up but suddenly there was a very big man standing close to my side and facing me; ready for the take-down, I suppose.  The clerk said that the knife was considered a weapon, and the ship’s chief purser would hold onto it until it was time for me to get off the boat.

My point revolves around the security man.  When he came up, I said hello then returned my attention to the clerk.  It’s clear that his job is to pounce when there’s trouble and he can’t do that from across the room so it’s natural that he’d come within grabbing distance.

He didn’t say anything and just stood there.  I knew I was safe as long as I behaved myself but wondered what someone who didn’t know that or was in a bad frame of mind might do.  They’d get wound up about the goon breathing down their neck and if they couldn’t keep their mouth shut they might just end up with a size 14 poop chute.

I really wanted to offer constructive criticism but there didn’t seem to be a good time to do it.  I don’t think it would help me get on the boat either.

Yes, I did get my knife back.

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The times, they are not a-remaining the same.

April 28, 2012 Leave a comment

A friend was writing about getting drunk many years ago on a flight to Korea and it made me think how misbehaving around anything to do with airliners is frowned upon; with repercussions ranging from being barred from a particular flight to having a backroom conversation with some dead serious men followed by travelling by coach for the remainder of your days.

It reminded me of the time I lost my temper with a ticket agent at Schiphol.  I was getting a ticket changed and complained about the fee(~100 Guilders I think)  when she said that the non-discounted price of my seat cost over 5000 I asked, “HOW FAST ARE YOU TRYING TO PAY OFF THE F**KING PLANE?”  (I was later told the planes were probably leased but that’s not the point).  The ticket agent just asked me if I wanted to fly or not.  I think that if I tried it today I might just wake up in a cell with a lump on my head.

By the way:  Have you seen the movie Alice to Nowhere?  A bank robber on the lam is stopped by airport security when they find his pistol he says it’s a gift for his nephew….and THEY LET HIM ON.  As I recall, he kept his pistol too.

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A place for Comic Sans?

April 28, 2012 Leave a comment

I was at Costco and the cashier at the next checkout had a phrase tattooed low on her chest and a garment revealing enough that it could be read. If it weren’t in such an ornate script and I was willing to stare at her chest long enough to figure out what it said then I could tell you what her cleavage message was.

I used to joke that if a woman was old enough to have tattoos then I didn’t need to feel like a deviant for admiring her figure. I’ve rethought that idea because I think I’ve reached an age where I’m expected to pretend not to notice these things in younger women.

BTW: The age/tattoo doesn’t hold true where I grew up; where some girls had tattoos before they were in secondary school.

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Just a thought…

April 26, 2012 Leave a comment

I’m watching The Big Bang Theory and they just badmouthed plumbers. It makes me think: When I open a tap water comes out. When I flush the toilet my poo goes away.

Lately, I fix garage doors for a living… Plumbers bring a lot more quality to my life than I bring to theirs; I will not badmouth them.

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A funny thought.

April 22, 2012 Leave a comment

I was visiting family last night and was looking at some vacation photos. Among them was a picture of an old lady from a mountain village in Yunnan, China. I was told that she had never left her village once in her long life and had never seen a car.

People come from all over and hike up to her village to see the beautiful views, terraced farms, and see how a local ethnic minority lives. What I found funny was that she doesn’t necessarily need to leave her village because the world keeps coming to her.

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I think it’s a good idea.

April 20, 2012 Leave a comment

I bought some pipe fittings and the cashier had a tough time scanning the bar codes; I assume because they are distorted by the curvature of the parts.

I’d like to see manufacturers make bar codes that are distorted so the apparent width and spacing of the bars is correct when looking straight-on at the curved pipe fitting. It might prove to be a real time saver at the register.

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An example of not mucking around and just getting down to work.

April 15, 2012 Leave a comment

I have to be vague here out of respect for privacy but I do need to share:

I was recently doing some work for a company that manufactures a product you’ll find in many workshops and was incredibly surprised to see that for their own in-house work they bought from the competition.  

I gave my contact there a bit of a hard time and we had a little laugh about the irony but what I gathered from working there was that they were so focused on production and their own customers that rather than spend time to adapt their own product to work in their shop, they simply placed an order to another company and let them worry about the details.

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