Archive for January, 2017

A Thought While Shaving.

January 10, 2017 Leave a comment

Whenever I shave I start my moustache in the middle so if I died suddenly nobody would, under any circumstances, find my corpse with a Hitler moustache.

If you do find someone who died while shaving and had that distinctive facial hair, give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they were thinking of Chaplin when they did it. Your memories of them will be fonder for it.

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A funny moment of realization….and the one that followed.

January 2, 2017 Leave a comment

I was thinking back many years about a time I was at work and went to the bathroom in the middle of my lunch beak.  When I returned to my lunch and took a sip of my coffee a coworker broke out in laughter and said, “HA-HA!  I spat in your coffee!”

The guy was a notorious verbal joker so I jabbed right back, “then drinking this is sort of like kissing you,” and took a long pull from the cup.  He got quiet.  Really quiet.  At that moment I realized for certain he was homophobic and was starting to suspect that SOB actually did spit in my coffee.

I don’t know why the joke bothered him.  He knew I’m not homosexual; he even knew my taste in women.  What bothered me later on was that I didn’t even consider the possibility that he had actually tampered with my coffee until I thought he was homophobic.  What kind of screwed up reasoning is that?

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